Marriage is not about the grand poruwa ceremony, perfect honeymoon in Nuwara Eliya, and pictures uploaded onto social media. But what matters is just that day and the one after it, how you live together. Most couple conversations need to be meaningful, from managing money to strengthening family bonds.
At Poruwa. At Lasting Keeps, those questions should never be generated on the fly. The following are 10 vital thoughts that every Sri Lankan family should discuss before and after getting married to each other.
1. Joint account after marriage
Money can make or break a marriage.
The two most popular approaches in Sri Lanka are:
Household expenses (bills, groceries, children’s contingent needs)
Separate accounts for personal spending.
This equilibrium allows for an open book regarding finances and offers financial freedom to each partner.
2. Building relations with In-laws
Sri Lankan weddings are family-centred affairs. That said, loyalty to your spouse vs respect for parents can be a tough one.
Some tips:
Your spouse should be the one to engage in those tricky conversations with their parents.
Keep the tone respectful, even when in disagreement.
Just keep in mind that you do not have to be BFFs with your in-laws, just civil and polite.
Family days, in combination with established traditions over time, further secure the bond.
3. Should you buy a house right after marriage?
Every couple dreams of owning a house in Sri Lanka, but it’s not as easy as we think.
Ask yourselves:
Do we have enough money for a loan/buying the down payment?
Do we know where to live (Colombo, Kandy, Galle…)
Will we be able to afford future costs like refurbishing or taxes?
A large number of couples all over Sri Lanka rent for a few years before they actually go ahead and do this.
4. How to talk instead of fighting
It is normal for couples to argue, but constantly battling each other is never a good thing.
Ground rules:
Don’t start discussions when angry.
Blaming Mindset replaces them with: I feel …
Listen actively, nod, paraphrase, and show respect.
Weekly “check-ins” work wonders. After that, discuss what is going well over a cup of tea.
5. What should we do when financial stress hits us?
When the cost of living was high, it put a lot of pressure on Sri Lankan marriages.
Solutions include:
Preparing a realistic monthly budget.
Tracking spending together.
Building a small emergency fund.
If required, take help from a financial adviser or counselor.
Money, a partnership, not a battle!
6. When (or if) should we have kids?
In Sri Lanka, this question tends to be more a question from family than your own.
Talk openly about this:
Do both of us want kids?
Are we ready both financially and emotionally?
How will we share the responsibility of parenting?
Try not to hurry because of social pressure. The best time is when it works for both of you.
7. How do we get the right amount of togetherness and personal space?
Even in Sri Lanka, where family ties are really strong, people need personal space.
Some ways to keep the balance are:
Pursue activities independently.
Keep friendships outside of your marriage.
Allow each other some time in silence.
Enough space will make the gaps in the relationship feel less.
8. How do we stay healthy together?
Having a healthy balance in a relationship is difficult when there are rice and curry feasts followed by late-night kottu.
Some ways to motivate each other are:
Take evening walks or jog together along Galle Face.
Do yoga or exercise together.
Research shows that people who work out together will stay healthy longer.
9. How do we split our time between families?
In Sri Lanka, during Avurudu or weddings, it is a challenge to balance both families, and it adds to your stress.
Some ways to achieve this are:
Alternate holiday locations.
Communicate about your plans before the holidays.
Include your own couple of traditions.
It is only natural to strive for peace and fairness. They should never revolve around ceaseless obligation.
10. What do we want to keep long-term stable?
Marriage is like a road trip. Having goals you both agree on helps you stay on course together.
Chat about:
*Your jobs: will you work overseas or stay here?
*Money stuff: what about saving cash, investing, or buying a house?
*Dream life: like seeing the world, having kids, or being part of something bigger than yourselves.
Wrapping up
Marriage needs love and care to stay awesome. These questions aren’t a to-do list. Think of them as conversations that bring you closer.
At Poruwa.lk, we want couples to create marriages, not just weddings, built on trust and love that last forever.
Tonight, make some tea, sit down, and talk. You’ll both be glad you did.
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